With the new year approaching, you may be considering making some changes in your life. If you only let go of a couple of the following things, you may live a happier life. Usually, when it comes to living a happier life, there is the belief we need more. That might include more money, driving a newer car or more vacations. While some of those things could contribute to your happiness in some cases, subtracting things that contribute to your life in a negative way has the tendency to make you happier than constantly trying to continually add more.
Courtney Carver is an American author and Podcaster. As of now, Carver works as the host of the Soul and Wit podcast alongside Bailey Carver. She created “Be More with Less”.
Comparing yourself to others. You might feel completely content and happy about something going on in your life until you compare it. You might compare it to something you had before or think you might have in the future. As the saying goes, comparison is the thief of joy. There will always be a better circumstance (or a worse one) to compare to, yet, rarely do either change your situation. Comparing only changes how you feel about your situation.
Trying to change what’s already happened. Regret is fueled by reliving and trying to change the past. The pain of the past can help us make decisions about moving forward but spending your time wondering what things would have been like if you’d done things differently. You will constantly miss out on the potential joys of the present moment by looking back. Perhaps it’s time to move forward. If trying to rework the past has become a persistent habit for you, try allowing yourself a few minutes each day to reflect.
Wanting something for someone else. It is normal that you want the best for people you love but when you start wanting something for someone more than they want, it gets in the way of your happiness. Look at these situations with new awareness. Are you pushing what you want for someone when they aren’t interested? Are you setting goals or expectations for other people in your life when they can do that for themselves? When you let go of this need, your relationships improve, including the one you have with yourself.
Worrying about things out of your control. This may be the hardest one of all and when you let it go, it will bring you an abundance of happiness. That stress you are carrying worrying about things you can’t change, things you have no control over, could be weighing you down. This doesn’t mean we give up on the things we care about. Instead, it means paying attention to the worry and before we start getting upset or ruminating on the same thing, we notice and ask, “Is this within my control?” “Is there a step I can take to help?” And finally, if the answer to the first two questions is no, ask, “What healthy action can I do to remove myself from this worry?”
Clutter. Since I mostly write about simplifying your life, I had to include this one. Removing clutter from your home, your calendar and your mind has great potential to increase your happiness. By slowing down, removing distraction and calming your mind, you make space and time for what makes you feel happy and to enjoy the feeling of being happy instead of rushing through it to get to the next thing.
Staying up late in the name of doing “one more thing.” Many people stay up in the name of doing “one more thing.” They think if they could just catch up or get ahead or finish one more thing, the next day would be better. Instead, they feel grumpy the next day because they are short on sleep. When you stop compromising your sleep and staying up trying to get more done, you can create a happier life. Not to mention, you can get things done with more ease when you are well rested.
Feeling guilty. Feeling guilt implies that you’ve done something wrong but often, when feeling guilty, you haven’t broken the law or done anything wrong. Instead, you feel you may not have accomplished much some days, or when you have to say no or set a boundary with someone you love. I’d like to suggest that you don’t feel guilty. Instead, you are feeling discomfort for taking care of yourself. You may not feel comfortable putting yourself first. Let go of this vicious circle and question your guilt. When that feeling pops up ask yourself, “Is this guilt or is this discomfort?” You deserve to take care of yourself.
Which item will you let go of first?
Which one of these seven things to let go for a happier life resonated with you the most? Choose a couple to work on. Be gentle with yourself as you let go of things you might not even recognize make you feel less worthy. Slowly, you can make room to feel a little lighter, happier, and more at ease in your own life.
My motto: Stay in the present moment. You are enough… let go of the rest.
Rev. Suzanne, a resident of SaddleBrooke is an independent writer and speaker. She was ordained non-denominational, representing all faiths, her focus is “inclusive.” Email: spiritualoccasions@outlook.com.
Longtime Tucson bar sold, to be redeveloped
